This morning when I was out walking my dog, I saw an elderly lady looking unhappy about her nature strip having been torn up by a car. We have a big retirement home development going on in our neighbourhood, and she lives opposite all the chaos.
I noticed her, and spoke to her with kindness. I empathised with her annoyance at the grass, and we started talking about the noise and mess going on around her.
She opened up to me pretty quickly, sensing I was safe, and shared that her husband had passed away a couple of years ago and that she was now on her own 
.
.She was all dressed up with her Melways in hand, about to set out to find a car repairer as someone had run into her car.
I asked her if she had family or close friends around, she said she had a sister, but she wasn’t much good as she was physically a lot more frail than she was. Other than her, she had no one.
I told her that I lived just around the corner, and I had lots of helpers around if she ever needed anything. Not that she will probably call on us, but I know which house she is in now, so I will plan to pop by occasionally to make sure she’s ok.
I don’t think anyone wants to grow old and be on their own.
Yet, often our lives become smaller and smaller not because that’s truly what we want, but because we are trying to find a feeling of safety.
The problem with this strategy is that while our life might be safer, it also becomes smaller.
And we lose many rich connections and support along the way.
A sense of safety and connection is essential for humans to thrive. Both within ourselves, and within our environment.
There sometimes isn’t much we can do about the world around us.
But there is much we can do about the world within us.
We all come with all we need to feel grounded and connected to ourselves, and others.
And to return to that, we mostly just need to get out of our own way.
