I think we all carry with us a weight that is far heavier than any excess ‘weight’ we might spend a lifetime trying to lose. And this type of weight can’t be lost by exercising more, dieting harder, or even watching more sunrises.
Over the past 12 years I’ve had the privilege of sitting with many people, mostly women, who are trying to feel well. Working hard to tick off the things on their list they are told they need to do to feel well. And yet, they just feel like the only thing they are gaining is exhaustion.
I believe this is because we’ve been handed down a story that says the only way to succeed is to work hard and prove our worth; and we’ve then put this work hard lens onto our health.
And what has happened?
For so many this has made ‘feeling well’ a chore, and the more we chase it with the heavy burden of doing, the more we lose sight of what it means to actually feel well.
There’s nothing wrong with working hard. Don’t let me think this is what I am saying. But we must ask ourselves what is the deep belief fuelling that drive.
We’ve been taught that our worth is equated with how much we can carry. We push on, we push through. We ignore the signs from our body, and we wonder why we feel so tired all the time. We follow what others are doing hoping to get the same results. We tick off our self care, always rushing on to the next thing, continually confused as to why we don’t get where we want to be. We self medicate our exhaustion and stress with bandaids. Most of which deplete and shut down our system even more.
So here’s what I’ve learnt over the past 12 years.
Thriving – being well – is more about ‘being’ than ‘doing’.
Being present in your body long enough to hear what it actually needs.
Seeing that self care isn’t found in on a ‘to do’ list, rather in living from your values to support all of you.
Mind, body, and soul.
That being well isn’t found in quick fixes or one root cause, but in being grounded in yourself deep enough to treat yourself with the love and care your body deserves.
It took me years to figure out what it meant for me to truly feel well.
And I still get caught up in the trap of thinking my wellbeing (and worth) is dependent on how much I ‘do’. I don’t think those deep stories ever really go, but I have made peace with that. We don’t need them to go when we get better at noticing them, and stepping into our own power of being able to choose what we engage with.
I’m certainly not perfect, but what I have carved out is sustainable given my current life situation with all that I do. Will that keep changing as my life circumstances do? Yes.
That’s what it looks like when you are tuned in to yourself.
So, what might happen if you could consciously choose to drop that extra weight that says your worth is dependent upon how much you do?
There’s only one way to find out.
